>> Saturday, April 28, 2007

Growing Up

It's Alya's completion of another year! I couldn't ask for any sweeter sis. She's kind and helpful. You go, girl!

Actually it's also mom's and dad's birthday 4 and 8 days ago respectively but our family is not so big on this thing. But I wished them anyway. Subtly. Here to another year, hopefully better life and better time everyone! Dear Almighty, bless us, Amin.

Photo Management

Finally I am committed to collecting ALL my photos in 1 location and back it up afterwards. I have close to 3000 in my iPhoto so far and this collection has not included anything older than the first bowling event in US, and anything newer than my Senior Project 2 presentation with Dr. Marcus Durham. I am not sure what the total is going to be but I have listed the events/themes and they turn out to be 47 overall.

I don't have a lot of memory, so these photos are going to help me.

Do you have any photos that have anything to do with me? Let me see them! Maybe you can go through my collection one day and pull out yours if there's any. Thanks.

>> Friday, April 27, 2007

Optical Powerhouse

Does anybody know which is more superior,

Carl Zeiss or Leica??

Hang out

Ihsan.. when can we hang out ...

like this: ( I need to borrow your Camcorder too, =p NTSC, right?)

>> Thursday, April 26, 2007

Bruise? [edited]

I've had this since Monday. It doesn't look normal. Not sure what it is.

Maybe it's a dark power inside slowly building its momentum...


I came across a card I received more than 2 years ago that says, in handwriting:


Like I said in my email - you are
brave! Thank you so much for performing on international night. It really was entertaining - and that's the most important thing.

You did a great job and I really respect and appreciate your effort.

Best - Michael Berglund

Michael joined the Office of International Student Services after Bob Heath retired. The good part is, that card really helped me reversed all the terrible feelings I had after the performance. The bad part is, I never really got the chance to reply anything. I think I remember replying the e-mail and thanking him personally, but I never took the time to reply the card.

I'm not sure how to contact Michael. Perhaps I can browse the school e-mail list. I found the names here and here, including Cristina Dascalu, who taught me English once.

Michael, wherever you are, I thank you.

>> Monday, April 23, 2007

Quick Getaway

Excellent skyline. Bright scenery.

Relaxing time by the beach.

Beautiful shore line.

The hard work pays off. Quite well. But I wish.... :'|

>> Sunday, April 22, 2007

Outstation Again...

Time flies. I was embarking on another trip again. This time over the weekend. It doesn't bother me any more. I guess I have to accept the fact that the job is taking a lot. I have to be patient for now.

Flying overseas...

I fully grasped the technicality of the situation this time. That why I enjoyed it. And the senior I was tagging with showered us with more info, free learning beyond our wildest dreams. Yeah. We could only dream of actual trainings. Forget about all those courses. We'll never get one. So it's heaven when the seniors are showing us the stuff.

>> Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Avidus Visitus

Good news to dear readers, I am starting to recognize the most avid of guests by parking each person's name and thumbnail on the sidebar. Criteria are obvious- I don't have to announce them. I will steal the current thumbnail from the visitor's current blogs, assuming that it is the most representative, based on the author's conscious choice. The selection is final on who will and will not be posted, and thou shall have no right to dispute it unless it is a matter of life and death. Such cases shall be accompanied by a minimum one (1) solid evidence and two (2) justifications.

These blogs are alive only because A) Some people are interested to know what I want to write, no matter how crappy. Furthermore, K.Long wants me to update her from afar. B) Because I like to write and I feel like sharing my second layer with everybody.

>> Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Great Man

"A great man shows his greatness," said Carlyle, "by the way he treats little men."


Hectic Hectare

As work piles up and you've got more stuff to do with less time at your own disposal, you start realizing that:

1) You should enjoy every sandwich.

2) Take a moment to chat.

3) Stop and think for yourself for a while.

>> Sunday, April 15, 2007

Kelana Jaya Ceremony

En. Ridzwan's son was the groom, a wedding held in Kelana Jaya yesterday. To get there I needed the help of Iman, En. Ridzwan's favorite scholar among us five. Hazizi, k.Alin, and Iman were the only ones I know, of all the attendees.

"Sorang ke?" (Are you all by yourself?)

That question did not bother me. It used to. Now it does.

F1.. set.. go..

I started to keep an F1 tab as soon as heard about Hakkinen. I'm not particularly impressed by Schumacher though. Honest. I don't know why. This season is fun. It's a little bit of mix and match as if it was planned even though it was obviously not. Raikkonen to Ferrari. Rookie Hamilton. Alonso to McLaren. Renault without Mild Seven and Alonso.

Raikkonen and Kovailanen are dedicated to finish. Alonso got Red Bull and Torro Rosso chasing from behind. Sato doesn't want to finish second. Coulthard is stallion-inside. Heidfeld reveals everything now. Scott Speed lives up to his name. Massa races against the time. Wurz would only get better. Webber sticks on the road. Trulli is being himself.

OK, I'm out. That's all I have.

Christopher Walken

"Michael. Just hit menu."

"On the remote?"

"No, the menu with the Reds Lobster. Yes! On the remote."

You gotta love Christopher Walken.

I just watched Click. Finished reading One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Still playing SH Exa, which is all about Toma and Cyrille. ;)

Don't believe an engineer who claims he's busy. :P

>> Saturday, April 14, 2007


Last Tuesday, after the KLIA trip, we set about another to Low Yat for the hunt of the right laptop. Dad's new laptop.

Core 2 Duo. Sweet.

I had influenced many friends to 'get-a-mac' but I couldn't convince my own dad. Sigh.

If You're Between 20 to 30...

  1. You have a lot to offer but you have very little to give, so you're miserable.
  2. You have advanced beyond some of your colleagues but also behind some other ones, so you're uncoordinated.
  3. You feel like time has long passed but you have more to go through, so you're anxious.
  4. You think you have done many things but still not enough to call it a life, so you're restless.
  5. You feel a bit too old for the young & adventurous but a bit too young for the settling adults, so you're clueless.
  6. You have met several acquaintances from the opposite gender long enough to spot your significant other but not long enough to finalize what you really want and what you can offer, so you're lonely.
  7. You have learned enough to be smart on your own but still not as wise to carry on, so you're clumsy.
  8. You realize that you are experienced enough to trust your own guts but still not experienced enough that you still need guidance and advice from the elderly, so you're indecisive.
My own take... you can submit your own in the comments. Please do. This way, I know you're reading this blog.

>> Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Fly Away

KLIA. 0730 hour.

I took a day leave for KakLong and AbgLong's farewell at KLIA. They were going to travel back to Loughborough, morning flight. You wouldn't believe how early we started - 0500AM. Although I needed the break anyway, since I worked both Saturday and Sunday last weekend, it's more important to be there for family. And for that, I had deferred my offshore trip.

I'll surely miss my nieces Arifah & Aida.

>> Monday, April 09, 2007

The Gathering

It's not always that everyone is around.

>> Sunday, April 08, 2007

Aizawa Medley II

Albeit short, we appreciated the visit. Only memory remains. Hope she remembers us.

Aizawa medley

You've probably read too much manga or watched too many anime series when suddenly, one of the characters appeared in front of you...

Nahh.. just kidding. That's Sakiko Aizawa, a 12-year old from Aomori. She stayed with us for about a week and boy didn't we know the term "language barrier" until it came about. Dad tried the hardest, being a good father he is, trying to communicate and all. CB knows some Japanese but I think he gave up half way, somehow. Alya already raised her hands up and went - it's not like she understands me. But on the contrary Sakiko seemed to trust Alya the most and she actually picked up some Malay, even more in English, and resolving to pointing phrases in the dictionary as an alternative.

We tried our best to accommodate and host her stay, testing out all kinds of food, shopping, soccer, etcetera. A lot of gifts and souvenirs exchanged, hers to all of us, and ours to her and her family. I was the only one who didn't get any gift simply because I haven't watched much anime lately, I know this for a fact LOL. I just hope she had a good time.

Go Global

"We would like you to think global, and go global"
said one of the multinational corporation CEOs.

(But we'll only pay you local.)

How appropriate.

>> Friday, April 06, 2007

Behind the Ad

You must have seen on employer's job opening ads phrases like:
  • Join our fast-paced team
  • Must be deadline oriented
  • Duties will vary
  • Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience
  • Problem-solving skills a must
  • Good communication skills
The hidden truths inside those criteria:
  • Join our fast-paced team - we have no time to train you.
  • Must be deadline oriented - the job you take on the 1st day is 6 month behind schedule.
  • Duties will vary - anyone in the office can boss you around.
  • Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience - you will need to replace three people who just left.
  • Problem-solving skills a must - you're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
  • Good communication skills - management communicates, you listen & figure out what they want and do it.
I got it from somewhere (forgot the source again) and modified it a little. I used to not bother about all those Dilbert like, work satire at all. Now I'm taking all those seriously. LOL.

>> Thursday, April 05, 2007


I am thinking of retiring this blogger. Some time off. Let's wait for official announcement.


>> Wednesday, April 04, 2007



>> Monday, April 02, 2007

Long entry

raw scribble: no accountability is taken whatsoever for clarity, grammar, and use of words - read at your own discretion

This round of troubleshooting stumbled upon my calendar before i could actually prepare myself for it. I completed one recently, when some issues came up and they needed a team to investigate. The issues remain outstanding; the investigation still calls for some follow-ups; things are continuously stacking up in the office waiting to be shoved off the table, and boom, this one came out of nowhere, although it had actually been planned for about 3 months. When you work for a big organization and the environment is super-challenging, particularly when some work involves 2 to 3 different parties, the timing is bound to hop on its foot one after another. It takes mighty effort to pull all these things together.

The first indication that the trip was going to be some sort of a woe was a taxicab swap. Two of the drivers I trusted were providing service to other client in one case and struck by a fever in another. This replacement guy asked what was the typical route the other drivers took, swept through a crossing bypass over to the other highway, and stuck right before the exit to federal highway. I almost went, "we're not going to make it my friend". But somehow, a little perserverance and patience pays well as the taxi cruised through the airport ten minutes before the time. In fact, I previously called up the airport to tell them I'm well on my way to check in and hopefully they wouldn't leave without me. No-show is trouble.

Familiar faces at the airport, namely Steve W, Hj Abraham Z, Nad K, and Iz A, calmed the ripple that was ignited by the stone (driver) dropped onto my watery surface earlier. I'm a water-bender all right. We were talking about the usual when Hj Suhaimi joined a little while later, skillfully without abrupting Abraham who was at the moment introducing her daughter who recently joined a local premium oil & gas company. Then we all had breakfast at the destination airport with KS taking Steve W's place. It's very interesting to mix field supervisory experience of 50 years combined and senior engineers of roughly 5-year each, in a conversation, to realize that mine was only 1.75, relatively miniscule, and to also realize that they were oblivious to it. Nad K, a chained scholar like me, only more senior, reminded of having a choice and not having a choice as a big deal, which I later translated to my logic bubbles as - I do have a choice. There may be some implications but I always have a choice. Nobody is going to tie me down just because of what I owe especially if the other end of the bargain was not kept and has not been kept. If it's not a fair deal, then there's no more a reason to honor it. Perhaps I should've snapped away from that kind of thought before it was going to ruin the journey. Then we all went separate ways, all carrying duties on behalf of the company, wondering if any of the efforts are going to be appreciated at all.

The first day, it was so blue. No, not me, the water was. It's a bit purple in color. No, maybe magenta. You'd feel like you'd want to swim in it but the rough surface reminded you not to. Wind was blowing as if it had not been blocked by anything whatsoever along its 1000km plus trip. It had not been indeed blocked by anything and that's as fresh of air as you could get at one time. It cleared the rusts in the head but only for a short while, thinking about the issues that's coming. 2nd day... dumbstruck by the whole case: more findings and things to be organized soon. Gosh. 3rd day, we were just solving whatever we could, stuck in the boat for half an hour due to an air transport coming in at the time. 3 rounds of going back and forth from the big island to the small island - I thought I've had just about enough. Tusirin the crane operator had a lot of laugh, easing out from the already stressed and unpleasant work environment. To smile and laugh during tough situations calls for a big heart.

I actually sobbed dry, no more tears, on the second day, heavily induced by the terrible things that I'm in. It may be not as terrible, but I think it is. It's a small crack that I'm in. Life is already going up, but there are junctions that have pained me. To be honest, it doesn't make me happy. Nowadays, as soon as I return, I normally don't talk as much as before. I simply can't describe the situation and I am not expecting anybody to understand it either. I know upfront that words would fail me. That's why I wouldn't want to talk about it. I've already tried and it all failed. I no longer have a peaceful sleep. That's painful, don't you think? Ever since I fall into this crack, and I'm going to start using those terms now, none of my sleep is merily identifiable as rest or peace. Well, no sleep is, come to think about it. No sleep is... until the final sleep. That's when you don't wake up anymore.

I saw a pair of dolphins when were stuck in a bot. Then tonnes of fishes, about 3 to 4 feet long each. All in a school. I don't see a classroom but they did line up just fine. I wish I could lower a net and work the crane to rally everyone last one of them - that's at least 10k on a boat for 10 minutes of work. I wonder if our marine level is up to that. Such a waste of opportunity. But on other hand, I was trying to imagine what it's like to be that fish for a while. Swimming in the ocean carefree, nothing to worry about. Maybe predators come around every so often but there is chance to fight and break away. If it's the end of it after you've given all you got, then that's your life cycle as you know it. Nothing to be sorry for. Or perhaps imagine what it's like to be the ocean itself, dances as the moon dances, slides away as the wind blows, enjoys the open air while basking under the sun. My Creator comes to mind, suddenly. Lord. I just hope I'll always remember You at all time. Your Greatness. Seen in your creations.

Maybe knowing a tiny bit of everything is frustrating. Maybe that's the dilemma. What skills do I have really? Is it the efforts that count or the skills? If I go somewhere else, am I going to be somebody? There's that dilemma isn't it - knowing and being a little bit of everything is like going invisible - you're nobody. I don't know which trade should I undertake. There are missing pieces here and there. Usability, design, networking, electrical, economics, recitation, singing, multimedia, facilities, engineering, project management. I'm doing some of these and none of these. It's somehow induced by the crack that I'm in. I am assigned to a specific position, but I'm doing all the work for other functions, as always instructed. It's good exposure, I learn the business, but I lack the fulfillment for the original position, and it keeps me in a constant confusion. Is there a way to do what I would like to do? Then I can really unleash my potentials? Work the things as if it's not work at all? Isn't that more of a fulfillment on the job than whatever remuneration of the pay can really compensate.

To be continued... (or not.. )