>> Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Being Passionate

While dad was customizing a new pair of glass at an optometry center, I wandered around a sports gear shop looking for some soccer boots. The employee who was giving me all the answers was impressive. I could tell that he has the passion for the kinds of boots that soccer stars wear. Not only did he explain the different classes of football shoes, he described the availability of each one including special cases. This reminded me of the need to discover talents. Perhaps I should surround myself with talented people. How do you discover talents? Isn’t that a way to start business? Unfortunately, I’m a little introverted by default and I’m lazy when it comes to maintaining a network. So, it’s not going to happen. Unless I turn over a new leaf. Or join a venture initiated by some old friends.

The website hit is all time low. Later I decided to swing some 3 woods with Muzani and CB. Not only did I drive, I swung all 3, 5 & 7 irons to get a feel of golf. It’s not as easy as I thought it was. Even though the ball stood still on the ground, it’s difficult to hit it since your steel stick wouldn’t swing straight without a balanced stance and steady arms. Out of ten swings for drive, 3 would go slanting forward and slightly curved to about 150 to 170 yards away (good hit), 3 would loop up (hitting the lower part of the ball and mostly the tee), and 4 would go straight down and roll just a couple of meters ahead (bad hit). I’m OK with the irons. Again, I would miss roughly 3 to 4 out 10 but the rest were good placing to about 100 to 150 yards range. And that was just hitting the ball. I haven’t gone into directing it to an exact green, spinning back ball, etc. Me going against Tiger Woods is like a dude with crutches beside Maurice Green.

We all watched two movies back to back - the Chronicles of Narnia (the Closet, Azlan Sulaiman the Asad, and the White *itch) and Equillibrium. Cool movies. Somehow I knew they'd like Equillibrium.

>> Monday, January 30, 2006

PC Assembly

Last night’s call for game was canceled and resumed in the evening today. We watched the Scorpion King instead after a dinner somewhere nearby. The futsal venue was the one I’m familiar with, closer to the Permanis premises. It’s quite exhausting since I haven’t played in a while. Much later, we assembled Abg Ngah and K.Ngah’s new computer, a 2K upgrade to Pentium 4 3.0GHz, 1024MB DDR2 RAM, etc. And that means the motherboard upgrade as well. Apparently, there was something wrong with the SATA hard drive. Hm… have you any experience with Maxtor drive?

I’m currently happy with the sound system I brought back. I just need a real permanent assembly to setup the theater - projector mounting as well as the speakers. There will be time when I’m no more interested in gadgets, audio, video, and computer networks. Well, I don’t know about the last.

(The moment I began my final project in the US, I was thinking of creating an ultrasonic wave transmitter to blow away the bats. It didn’t happen because I’m not smart enough. And it was difficult to find the right tweeter. But hey, come to think about it, I have actually brought back the machine to drive these creatures away. The speakers. The number of bats at our house has really decreased over time.)
Ou speakers! Thou shall beep to high frequency and lo. Screech the ears, bang their floor. Peeps, hang on for a mo!

>> Sunday, January 29, 2006

Blow your money once...

Sunday was nothing much. We went to Alamanda in the evening. Mum, dad, Alya and Asri went to a wedding ceremony at a hotel near KLIA. Phew. That’s a tough act to follow. I don’t think I even want to go that way. Maybe it’s a toothpick for some people to spend money on but things like that would cost me a fortune. Besides, I prefer to do it at homes rather than hotels or halls. It would feel closer to where we all live (realistically, c’mon people.) My family agrees. (What happened to the days when people simply wed at the Masjid and then save that fortune for life after marriage?)

There was a call for game at around nine o’clock. It’s about time. I haven’t played soccer in a while.

The minute you lend your sister the camera...

>> Saturday, January 28, 2006

Cyberjaya 2

LOL, the same cycle. I guess this is becoming a routine. Nevermind. I’m just a little overwhelmed by the cycle I was going through. Going back to square one isn’t so bad after all. At least I’m still sitting on my chair writing. Well, typing to be exact.

I’m just going to write and write and write. I will write whatever I want, whenever I want. It feels good. It tastes a lot better than trying to explain things to someone. At least I don’t get a bewildered look on a face and having to start all over again. I don’t know. Sometimes I feel weird to admit that my words lack sophistication. Or I’m not even trying to make anybody understand. This is why I am neither a lawyer nor a counselor. And I can never be a good engineer without a strong foundation of this. I don’t know. Maybe someday I’ll pick it up slowly.

By the way, I suggested a visit to Cyberjaya so we ended up wandering around the Taman Tasik Cyberjaya and having our dinner at the Street Mall. I forgot how long it’s been since the last swing. So did mom.

>> Friday, January 27, 2006


It’s a little hectic especially towards the end of the day. We don’t have very many people these days so you know the drill. I wish I could help but I wasn’t up to curve yet. It’ll just make things worse. Well, I tried in anyway I can. This little boy is clueless.

Hm. I’m closing down the shop. Maybe it’s time. I thought I could post more pictures and stories of my journey. The archive is all that’s left. Let’s see if iWeb can help. I’m out.

Ups and downs...

>> Thursday, January 26, 2006


“If you don’t take care of a problem, it will take care of itself.” But you have to live with the consequences.

Oh simple things. Where have you gone? (Keane)

>> Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Content Meeting

I joined a meeting I couldn’t participate much because of its contents, lunch with Kamal at MNI (excellent Nasi Goreng Kampung but lots of MSG), and another route to merge with the KL-Seremban highway but still behind in like half an hour. Gosh. The volume.

>> Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Switch Division

I called a scholar senior engineer who has switched to another department before spending time in a division he obviously didn’t like. I wonder how that happened. He was quite occupied then so we couldn’t talk about it further. Nevertheless, I would like to find out more from him and we have agreed to discuss it over breakfast.

>> Monday, January 23, 2006


Inner Growth - Peace comes with rest & comfort

A peaceful mind is one in which all our energy is gathered and focused on our natural quality of peace. It is a dynamic state which clarifies the mind & brings feelings of rest, confident and joyfulness. Only a peaceful mind can make decisions which do not sow seeds of problem.

Some people think that to be peaceful means to be ineffectual in life - quite the opposite. We live in a world where success is still measured in physical terms, and to be successful in that sense, one has to be competitive, aggressive, and to some extent, dishonest. To be able to remain true to yourself under such circumstances requires the clarify & strength that silence readily gives. This is what being successful realy means.

We have become accustomed to a mentally unfit, flexible state in which our thoughts tumble around like clothes in a washing machine, often never becoming resolved but are as entangled as ever. Do not waste time on this. Our mind needs to be restored to its natural state of peace.

Thought for reflection: Life is too short to waste on hatred or revenge. Let us maintain our peace. (source: some newspaper section)

My only wish now is to have a slightly easier job with fun environment equipped with the latest of tech. I don't care about promotion, office politics, building career resume, etc. Those are the corporate lifestyle that I don't want to be too obsessed about. I just want to do an honest job and everything will take care of itself.

I visited Hj. Mohamad. Hj. Isnin, a veteran metering engineer after giving him a ride home. It was raining heavily and his son had another arrangement after office hour. Cyberjaya was cool.

>> Sunday, January 22, 2006

Favorite Tunes

Someone asked about me favorite tune. My taste would probably change over time but these three would likely remain:

1) Richard Clayderman - Ballade Pour Adeline
2) Colin Keyes - Remember the Carpenters Medley: We’ve Only Just Begun/(They Long to Be) Close to You
3) Kenny G. - Forever In Love

Hey, we visited Alya again. I tried to finish my to-do list but it just wasn’t possible. I guess I’ve been too relieved to be back onshore.

>> Saturday, January 21, 2006

New Pair

Zul’s parents, mom and dad’s friends visited around noon. So did PokJo. Thus we had to postpone our visit to Warta. I customized a new pair of glass while mum bought some stuff for Alya.

>> Friday, January 20, 2006

Stopping by...

Upon my return, I headed to KT instead and booked a flight back in the evening. I didn’t intend to visit grandma and pa but that was the plan then. Perhaps I had made a good on-impulse decision. They didn’t seem too surprised and showed only a mild delight, but that had made my day.

On the way there, I gazed out the window and thought to myself, “So this what happens on this side of the world.” I’ve always wondered what it’s like to be elsewhere when I was going about my routines. Life here is probably less stressful but you know that ain’t going to matter much. Less sophistication is not an issue. People went about their lives in a fashion they would intend to. Shouldn’t life follow your fashion? And passion?

Both grandma and pa were doing OK. I pray they still are. Since it wasn’t a holiday season, it felt significantly quieter than usual. There were no other relatives but two of my uncles and my grandparents on this one. First I stopped by for some goodies. You knew you couldn’t be empty handed. Then refreshed, went for the Friday prayer with Pok Sang and grandpa and later enjoyed grandma’s delectable lunch.. Pok Sang sent me to the Sultan Mahmud airport. The short visit was over but it lasted in my heart.

>> Thursday, January 19, 2006

Calm Down

I was supposed to go back. But I decided to stay back. I held on to the faith that there’s a lot of good that would come out of it. Office called, from a higher authority, to calm the ocean down. Horizon lines connected again.

>> Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Thy Freedom

I carefully gazed at the blue horizon yonder. Fishes seemed to swim around tact and tender. How delightful were they, I must wonder? Not as ‘happy’ as I was, that’s for sure. Time keeps us in deep blue and blunder. Though the strength thou shall hath naught but to fire. The real freedom spells holding on to your desire. The fee is to persevere or prosper. “Welcome lad,” the folks said. “Welcome to the shire!”

>> Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Time Goes

Time passes and another trip comes. I almost missed the ultimate ride to the east cost. It was a timely decision to call and hold the flight for 10 minutes.

>> Monday, January 16, 2006


The day started somber. As I cruised through the flyover pass the bottleneck at Jalan Tun Razak, I realized another possible contentment. This shouldn’t become a down point of the job. It’s fun. At least I know for sure that I’d reach the destination. Perhaps I could be late for a couple of minutes but that’s pretty much it. There are far worse situations and circumstances that I could’ve sunk myself in pertaining to the job nature - legal issues, shutdown, irregularities, termination, etc. That’s what I’m a do. (Home on the Range) I’m a keep on going! Enjoy going back and forth!

Define smart.

Smart goes beyond the book, paper, forums and reviews. It’s very subtle. Even if a person has seven PhDs, two directorial positions, and three multi-million companies, I still won’t consider him or her smart. Again, smart goes beyond any measurements, because any measurable parameters must be even smarter, thus that original smartness wouldn’t be able to define its own smartness to begin with. Isn’t intelligence relative as well?

I think some of my friends are even smarter. The colleagues whom I used to team up with are now doing what they’re really into. Now that’s smart.

I'm not smart so I try to be attentive. Success rate: 20%.

>> Sunday, January 15, 2006


Today, I was reminded of death twice more than any other day. Two stories.

We were visiting Alya at Seseri when these stories came about. As usual, mum was the storyteller. Muzani slipped in occasionally for the elder brother of the boy who died was and still is his friend. So did Alya for personally knowing this little boy. Unlike any other day, as described by Muzani, the boy actually took his time in the shower whereas normal it wouldn’t take him more than a couple of minutes. He actually took the time to greet his mom and dad before leaving home. Alya bumped into him during her visit to school, a couple of days before it happened. The boy collapsed while being punished for being late to school, for he didn’t have a strong heart as others. He couldn’t even make it to the hospital. Death just doesn’t wait. The irony being not only he was known for being an active sportsman, the heart problem wasn’t much of an issue to begin with. He was 16.

Second story was by basis the same. A mother-to-be laid her head on her mother’s lap and reminisced about how good it felt to be doing that when she was little. It was as if she knew the time had come. The future grandmother insisted on attending a relative’s wedding and left the home for such event. Upon her return, both her daughter and granddaughter passed away of fever. She couldn’t feel any sorrier for leaving her daughter. Again, death doesn’t wait.

>> Saturday, January 14, 2006

Hello World.

It’s about time that I update my website. Hey, I’ve been playing with the Google Earth today. It’s a cool piece of software. Maybe I should write about places I know. Coming soon.

I can spot my home.

>> Friday, January 13, 2006

Real Run

It went smooth, Alhamdulillah. Everything went well today. A few bosses attended the final presentation. I ran mine like the wind. There was no question. The organizing coordinator/supervisor is on her way to Houston for a new assignment. Good for her.

Hey. It's Friday the 13th. Did you turn on your PC today? LOL.

>> Thursday, January 12, 2006

Dry Run

We were supposed to have dry run but we raffled off the ballots instead. Tomorrow is the final presentation for the development program.

MacBook is coming out now. Top notch. What the heck is Apple into nowadays?

"Intel inside."

>> Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Go Through

I had a dry run with system folks for about 15 minutes. Apparently my slides were quite far out the box. I tried not to put many words or small details. It’s supposed to be a presentation, and not a technical review, isn’t it? Well, I shall try and blend the two approaches.

>> Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Happy Eid

Happy Eidul Adha, everybody. Allahu Akhbar! We prayed at the MPI mosque. I prepared the slides for the upcoming dry run and presentation. It’s going to be over soon.

>> Monday, January 09, 2006

Duty Calls

Office called. I’m on leave but I guess I have to start accepting the fact the job is now a big part of life. Should I love what I do, or do what I love?

>> Sunday, January 08, 2006


Early in the morning, we played football at a public field at the back of Tenaga’s switch station near Syarifah. This time Shah Alam folks drove all the way to Bangi for the game. It’s about time.

We all went to Alamanda much later and shopped again for groceries and the likes. This time we bought Dory fillets and potatoes for our own home-prepared fish & chips. Dad improvised the crumbs a blend of spice and blank cookies pounded to pieces.

>> Saturday, January 07, 2006

God Must be Crazy Part Deux

I had a bad flu and yet joined everybody to shop around in Kajang. I didn’t know there’s a Mydin at the back row after Jabatan Bekalan Air but before Sg. Jeluk. I think I saw Saliana, an old friend from primary school. But I didn’t get to greet her. Well, the world is small. But time is all.

We burst out laughing for Gods Must be Crazy 2 this time. Jaime Uys was purely a genius. I’ve seen both GMBC 1 and 2 in several occasions, but I keep on laughing every time I see it. “Aye, aye, aye… “

>> Friday, January 06, 2006

Gods Must be Crazy

We were watching the Gods Must be Crazy and had a good laugh for about an hour and a half. The clumsy part was slightly overkill but everything else was purely hilarious.

"I don't want to talk about it."

>> Thursday, January 05, 2006

So Soon

Nobody ever escaped getting yelled at by the bosses. So I think I’m in good shape. Sue was in town so both Seri and I decided to invite her for lunch. As usual, Seri would bring Fred with her. Hey, I received a wonderful slice of cake! It’s orange enough and the cheese was very dense. Thank you very much.

Don't you wish you had joined Jobs and Woz in the garage...

>> Wednesday, January 04, 2006


The booth overcharged my Touch N Go card. Must be the case of scan lost. How can a ‘simpleton’ make a living now? Try and calculate how many times you pay the tolls, everyday of the year, and multiply that by the years you’ve been going back and forth that distance… that’s a handsome money contributed to the wealth of nation. Is this wealth being redistributed again properly? I don’t know. You tell me.

We had a big lunch with almost everybody including Sheereen. She’s now back in Malaysia and currently out looking for a job. She helped out a lot last time and so I try and help her whenever possible.

Sometimes, I think,
There are things I could’ve done more of,
Words I could’ve said less of,
Actions I could’ve taken,
but maybe it’s best that I didn’t do it

>> Tuesday, January 03, 2006

One Extra

I reorganized my room and cleaned it up nicely. Wira’s got a new run of air-conditioner gas. How the heck did I get a 100-hour battery?

>> Monday, January 02, 2006

Back to School

We sent Alya and CB back to school. I have another day off tomorrow but afterwards, all insanity will be coming our way.

Stealth-fighter engineers were exhausted of ideas until they walked across the KLCC Park one day…

>> Sunday, January 01, 2006


Mow, mow, mow the lawn, gently down the green... what a way to start a new year!

A year from now… I would complain less about my job but still struggling to keep up with everything. The environment would still be somewhat brutal. CB would hopefully feel a bit more comfortable at school. Alya would wear her brains out in deciding her future…

years from now… Dad would retire from his long and stable career. Hopefully, his application to extend two more years would be approved. Ashbi would start scouting for a boarding school. I hope he’s going to do well in UPSR.

3 years from now… Kak Long would finally finish her PhD. I would probably settle down and start a family. Or not. It’s CB’s turn to wear his brains out in deciding his future…

5 years from now… I would finish serving my sentence! That’s what I get for stealing the company’s money for four and half years. K.Long and K.Ngah would have probably moved out to their homes or even earlier. Good for them. I would again try and settle down if it didn’t happen last time. Or not.

10 years from now… I hope to finish my MBA or another equivalent degree by now, start earning better, and live a regular life (or a hectic one). I would’ve probably settled down and started a family should the last trial fail. This would be like a deadline for starting up a family. MBA wouldn’t probably work. It’s way too expensive.

20 years from now… I’d feel like starting my life over again. (As described by dad, something happens at 40 that makes a man wild about doing something he hasn’t done, considering a second wife or some sort, as popularly labeled as ‘the middle-life crisis’. The man would constantly think about giddying up for no reason or other new excitements and etc. At this time, dad continued, the wife has to be there for him or something bad happens that’s why we have to choose our mate wisely now. It’s almost irreversible.) I don’t know what’s going to happen. But what I do know is by now; I’m not supposed to worry about what I don’t have. Oh, by the way, hopefully, I’ve done the pilgrimage already. Hajj.

30 years from now… I’d probably own a few businesses to help my family and others. My kids would have grown up and become more or less like their mom and dad. They could do whatever they want in life, as long it wouldn’t conflict with the number 1 priority. Retirement and health issue would come in. The only certain part of life is indeed death.

50 years from now… If I make it to seventy, I’d talk to my generation to pass on the lessons. Pass on the legacy. I’m going to die soon so I hope I’ve done all the goods things I could.

2,000,000 years from now… (if the earth survives it) I’m long dead. I become fossils again then turned into oil for Shell to drill out. Exxonmobil went down a couple of thousands years ago for choking on its own carbon-dioxide release.

P/S: I could’ve gone into more details, but where’s the fun in that?